How To Feel a Feeling

Emotion is the red-headed stepchild of the personal experience.  People find emotions annoying and just want them to go away.

People with cancer are uncomfortable outside of a finite range and number of emotions.   They like being happy, but not too happy, not exuberant…that’s weird.  They might be a little down but they won’t like that go into sadness or grief because. . . you know.. .  you gotta stay positive right?

No, you don’t have to stay positive. You have to feel whatever it is that is “up”and choose your ultimate goal and start making moves in that direction.

If you followed this simple advice, your life would change. This I promise you.

The process is going to be very similar to noticing a physical sensation. A few things to know first:

You may feel massive resistance to this process. If someone is going to skip a step, this is where they will want to skip.  If you’ve been avoiding your feelings it’s going to feel scary.  Here’s the truth – your emotions are the truth.  You can run from the truth, but it will always be lurking in the back of your mind and giving you messages that it’s ready to be known (cancer being one of those messages).

It may seem like it’s nothing. It’s not nothing; it’s something.  “Its nothing” is a favorite trick of the mind that really means “This isn’t rational.”  No, it’s not rational; it shouldn’t be rational and it doesn’t have to be.  It’s a feeling not a thought; feelings don’t operate by the same laws as thought.  On top of that we are dragging these things out of the subconscious where they have been stored.  Logic is not the language of the subconscious.

If you’ve already read YOU ARE MORE THAN YOUR BODY, you know that emotions are here to present us data.  They are here to remind us of something important that we were ignoring or missing.

But emotions are also the motor.  The give us the energy to implement a change.  If you are ignoring your emotions, you’re going to have a hard time changing.  You may think about changing, you may know you need to change and even start to change, but it will not be sustainable without the emotion to drive it.

What to do:

Notice where in your body you are feeling energy (heat, tingling, tightness, contraction). Or, you may already know that you are hanging on to emotion in your body.  You feel a fear in your gut, an emptiness in your heart a driving anger in your abdomen.  In either case the process is going to be the same.

The key here is to let these emotions be emotions and let them be fully present.  Don’t figure them out. Don’t need them to mean something. Just let them do what they’re going to do.

You’re doing great and I love you lots.

Dr. Matt


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